Wednesday, October 14, 2009


Some months back, when The Shelf shared its commentary on the old, long forsaken USFL, little did I know that we’d see the return of yet another attempt at professional football, the UFL. The UFL is like the USFL-lite - they're only four teams. Honest to goodness, who in their right mind thinks that these things are a good idea?

So here we go:

California Redwoods. I’m trying to recall a time when a team was named after a plant and I’m coming up dry. You have to look at this logo a long time to make out the R it attempts to portray. It looks as though one of Braveheart’s loyal men attempted to shield himself from Zorro the Gay Blade…oh yes, and Zorro’s using a Black & Decker router instead of a blade.

Florida Tuskers. Here we have Orlando’s team, so let's all get Disney! And fitting too, that their logo features The Lion King’s Pumbaa, only now he’s hopped up on meth readying himself for another signature Florida home invasion.

Las Vegas Locos. We should begin by noting that Locos here is short for Locomotives. Because when you think Vegas you think trains, right? No? You think lapdances and gambling? Yeah...I suppose I do too. That said, my immediate reaction to this Loco Logo is that they are trying to convey the Spanish 'loco', being crazy. Now I know, I know, I know I’m supposed to see the front grill of an old timey locomotive engine here – but honestly…tell me you’re not thinking LA street gang when you see this?

New York Sentinels. I see this logo and all I can think of is Lego Knights. For a long time, my son was batshit for Lego Knights. We had them all – had the books and everything. The Green Knight’s name was Sir Rascus and he was the first one my son got. Now, my son is obsessed with baseball and Sir Rascus has gone the way of the partially disassembled, long forgotten toys, much like the New York Sentinels soon will be.

No comments:

Post a Comment