Tuesday, December 8, 2009

My Second Favorite Brendan

I.


Today, while visiting the city of Philadelphia before his team, the New York Islanders, were to take on the Philadelphia Flyers, Islanders defender Brendan Witt was hit by a truck. After this transgression occurred, Witt got up, dusted himself off and headed back to the arena to get ready for the game.

Of course, as I write this post the Islanders are losing 6-2 to the Flyers, so perhaps Witt should have sought medical assistance. Still, that's a man who's got a pair of stones, my friends.


II.

In other sporting news, it would appear that the United States' first game in the 2010 World Cup will be against Her Majesty's Collection of Dysfunctional Overpaid Footballers. Here's the bracket for Group C:


Of course, the British press is salivating over the prospects that their nation's team is a shoe-in to advance to the second round, lumping a victory over us as trying a task as defeating Algeria and Slovenia. Keep talking chaps...keep talking. Their boisterous posturing at the expense of my home nation's dignity has really gotten my Irish up. As you faithful of Slimbo's Shelf know, I am not one to submit to moronic American jingoism, but until our beloved Screaming Eagles lay the three lionesses to rest in South Africa, I am considering a boycott of all things English (and you Shelf readers ALSO know that I am an unrepentant Anglophile).

Boycott list includes:
  1. Tea
  2. Bass Ale
  3. Kingsley Amis and Nick Hornby
  4. Beatles, Stones and the Kinks
  5. Rachel Weisz (and this one hurts!)
  6. English Premier League (will only watch Tim Howard, Everton Keeper, only the greatest on the planet!)
  7. Monty Python
  8. Granta Literary Magazine
  9. Nigella Lawson (see lament re: Rachel Weisz above)
  10. BBC World News at 9am
  11. When Saturday Comes (footie magazine)
  12. Being polite and ironic
III.

Lastly, the Giants beat the monkey out of the Dallas Cowboys last Sunday....ah, that felt good.

No comments:

Post a Comment