I love soccer. And almost everyone who knows me knows I love soccer. And now they're all calling, asking me to explain the various scenarios by which the United States might advance from our group (England, Slovenia, Algeria) to the knock-out group of 16. Honestly, when I am called on the carpet to explain our chances, I just make it up.
- 1. SO! France lost. And why did France lose? Karma! Remember France should not even be here. A mysteriously uncalled handball facilitated a goal against the Republic of Ireland to get France into this World Cup. They don't deserve to be here, so payback's a bitch, ain't it? (Though, in all seriousness, Ireland should have cleared the ball and never let him get that faux Gaul goal).
- I don't mean to malign France. I just saw Paris je t'aime, a wonderful film. And I am mulling the thought of writing a novel about the '68 student uprisings in France, as told from the perspective of a Gaulist policeman. Oh God, I love France. (And when I say I'm mulling a novel, I mean to say another eccentric, wildly unmarketable novel).
- So England drew 0-0 against Algeria today. A few months ago, I had picked these guys to win the whole cup. But you know what? They're punchless. Honestly, they can't consummate the deal because their home nation puts such ungodly, malicious pressure on them, that they freeze up in the moment of truth. And I don't mean to malign the English. I love you guys. My children are part English - as much English as they are Irish. But you people are killing your own team.
- Slimbo predicts Argentina takes The Cup. Holy crap, those kids are running on all cylanders. Plus, they are managed by a complete crazy person.
Separately...the Mets just won their seventh in a row...beating the Yankees in Yankee Stadium (and by 'Yankee Stadium', I mean that new cold corporate monstrostity that was built to replace the now vanquished baseball temple).